How to Get Your Kids to Play Independently (Without Screens)
Play is how kids learn to problem-solve, express themselves, and build confidence. It’s also how you get five quiet minutes to finish your coffee or fold the laundry.
If your toddler or preschooler resists playing alone, you're not alone. Independent play takes time to develop, but with the proper setup and patience, it becomes a skill your child can build every day.
And the best part? You don’t need a screen to make it happen.
Why Screen Time Should Be Used Carefully
Screens can be helpful in short bursts, but too much can affect how young children develop key skills. When toddlers spend long periods watching a screen, it often limits the time they have for active, hands-on learning and quiet focus.
Extended exposure has been linked to early communication, attention, and problem-solving challenges. [1] Fast-paced, overstimulating content can make it harder for young children to stay engaged with slower, imaginative forms of play. It can also impact how well they focus or interact during real-world activities. [2] Anecdotally, and backed by emerging research, kids often behave better with less screen time, especially in the early years. One recent study even found that reducing screen use was associated with improved emotional regulation in toddlers [4].
Balancing screen use with physical movement, independent play, and connection gives children a more complete foundation for growth. Encouraging screen-free routines helps create space for calm, creativity, and confidence.
Why Playing Solo Builds Confidence
Self-directed play helps children build focus, creativity, and resilience. When kids have space to play on their terms, they learn how to manage frustration, try new ideas, and explore the world at their own pace.
Time alone also encourages problem-solving. Whether they’re working through how to balance a stack of blocks or creating a pretend world, these solo moments support healthy development and give you a short breather.
Most importantly, encouraging independent play builds confidence. When children see that they can entertain themselves, their belief in their ideas grows. You’re not just helping them play. You’re helping them grow into capable thinkers.
What Self-Directed Play Looks Like
Independent play for toddlers doesn’t mean long, quiet periods. In the early stages, it might look like a few minutes of sorting blocks, lining up trucks, or flipping through a book nearby. That still counts.
Expect short bursts of attention that build gradually. A toddler may return to the same type of play again and again. This kind of repetition is part of how they process experiences and gain a sense of control.
When children are given the freedom to direct their own play, they begin to build essential cognitive and social-emotional skills such as problem-solving, persistence, and self-regulation. [3]
Creating a simple, open-ended space supports this development. Keep a few favorite toys out and store the rest to avoid overstimulation. This helps toddlers focus more deeply on their own ideas. For inspiration on how to build a space that encourages this kind of engagement, check out our guide on how to create the perfect toddler play area with modular furniture.
How to Encourage Solo Play (Without Pressure)
You don’t need to introduce complicated activities. A calm, predictable space works better than anything else. A soft surface like a play couch provides structure and freedom where kids can climb, rest, or invent a game right where they are.
Here are a few ways to support independent moments:
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Choose a time of day when your child is calm and well-fed
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Begin play together, then slowly step back
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Let your child know you’re nearby, even if you’re not involved
If your child hesitates, keep the moment light and positive. You’re not asking them to stop needing you, just to explore their own ideas, with your support in the background.
Getting Toddlers Started (and Keeping It Going)
With toddlers, the first step is setting a routine. Choose a regular period each day for self-directed play, even if it’s just ten minutes at first.
You might say: “This is your play time while I do the dishes.” Keep your tone warm and confident. If they look to you for what to do, reflect on it: “What do you think should happen next with the blocks?”
Letting your toddler lead the play encourages ownership. And when they know what to expect each day, they’re more likely to settle into the rhythm.
Giving your child control over their play space also helps. Soft modular furniture gives them a cozy way to shape their environment, whether that’s a fort, a reading nook, or just a quiet spot to recharge.
What to Keep in Mind
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some days your child may dive into play with no hesitation. Other days they may need more from you.
That’s normal. The key is consistency, not perfection. Even five to ten minutes of focused, screen-free independent play time is enough to support growth and give you a moment of stillness.
The goal isn’t to keep your child busy. It’s to help them feel confident in their own creativity. Over time, they’ll not only learn how to play independently, they’ll enjoy it.
Citations:
[1]: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37603356/
[2]: https://academicmed.org/Uploads/Volume6Issue3/152.%20[3414.%20JAMP_PH]%20739-743.pdf
[4] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36924568/
